What Happens At The Bachelor Party Stays At The Bachelor Party

I had the option of going to Summer's bachelorette party or Guil's bachelor party, so naturally I decided to go with the boys.

What happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party, except for this:

We packed the van full of 10 boys at my house, and I hopped in the driver's seat at around 9. As I was sitting there waiting for everybody to get settled, I got a phone call. It was insanely loud in the van as they clamored around, half of them already drunk.

So I'm on the phone and I say "I gotta go, I'm in a van full of boys heading to a strip club right now."

To which Smiley yells, "DAJAH HASN'T HAD THIS MANY DICKS BEHIND HER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL PROM!!!!"

To which I reply, "Dude, I'm on the phone with my MOM."

I Left My Dignity In El Segundo

Today was good times at the beach in El Segundo with Britt and Courtney.

I remember sitting at a stoplight with the windows down and belting out "Anything, Anything" with Britt and Court at the top of my lungs and making the surrounding drivers nice and uncomfortable. Then I think it was "Hopelessly Devoted To You". Classic. I recall being really intoxicated, leaving the bar alone to try and find Mexican food, and getting lost in a 3-block radius. Finding the place, handing the carry-out menu back to the guy and just saying "I'm too drunk for this, it's too much. I just want taquitos. Please, please help me."

Woke up with sand in my hair and a little umbrella stuck in my trucker hat I was wearing, thrown into a pile next to the bed with my swimsuit and all personal belongings I had today. Somehow I managed to put on a clean shirt before I collapsed into bed. Seriously, a little umbrella stuck in my hat and a bikini next to my bed, passing out drunk. Like it's was fucking spring break in Miami or something. I'm probably on some Girls Gone Wild, Los Angeles edition somewhere. Yikes. My head hurts. Oh I just looked to the right in bed and found a little plastic monkey- some decorative shit they hang from the edges of fish-bowl size booze concoctions found exclusively at tiki bars. Surprise.

I should definitely wash my hair tomorrow. It's been 8 days and I have a 4-day-rule when engaged in any activities involving swimming or spilling whiskey on myself. That was 7 and 5 days ago, respectively. Mmmmmmm. BTW this is one of a billion reasons I do not have a boyfriend.