I would give my left breast to have a day just to sleep for 24 HOURS. ALSO!!!! I would give my right breast to work on my laptop at the Tiger Bar. Someone is digging coal and NOT going to the sleep clinic. Feel better?
and
Remember when you bought every box of candy at the Dollar Tree before your sleep clinic appt? I do.
All true stories. I did go to the dollar store on my way here because they have Twizzler Cherry Bites there, in the big box. It's my new/only favorite candy now, so of course I bought all of them and put it on my credit card, which is arguably the most reasonable purchase I've ever made.
I'm currently sitting in room 528 of the Residence Inn at the waterfront. My overnight sleep study went well. I thought it would be hard to sleep with all that shit attached to me:
But remarkably it was not. Probably this was due to the pills I popped prior to bedtime, but nothing new there. Incidentally, there are like 8 wires you can't see in that picture which appear to be sprouting from all over my head like medusa. Or an octopus. An octo-medusa. Perhaps a medusa-pus. Anyway.
Today I'll be here for about 12 more hours. I have to take five 20-30 minute naps every two hours as part of my MSLT. So I'm still sitting here with all those wires and electrodes attached to my face. In fact, I just went downstairs to eat breakfast and looked like a total freak. The hair/piercing/tattoo combo is somehow still striking enough, even though we're in Portland (for fuck's sake) but I guess at a hotel by the river, I'm some kind of anomaly. Add to that the fact that I'm wearing short shorts and platform sandals, walking around with 10 wires coming off my face and head, carrying what looks like the world's tiniest mixer... no wonder people are staring.
I think I'm gonna take the sleep technicians up on their offer to let me walk around outside between naps. I want to make as many people uncomfortable around here as I can.
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