Idiot.

So last night I was sewing the duvet cover for my down comforters. I got sick of both comforters floating around inside of the huge-ass thing, so I decided to take it in along all the edges, using my handy dandy sewing machine.

Well, I had accomplished sewing about 150,000 inches of the perimeter of this motherfucker and was down to the last 9 inches. The top layer is a smooth polyester-blend resembling silk. Slippery shit. As I was hurrying along, anticipating finally getting the last bit done, I pushed my left hand too close to the rapid-firing needle and my left index finger got sucked into path of stitching.

That's right. I stabbed my finger with my sewing needle, which was probably moving at about 95 miles per hour across the fabric.

I yelped like a wounded animal, tried to pull my finger back and couldn't. Why? Oh, because I had SEWED COMPLETELY THROUGH MY NAIL and my finger was still trapped under the foot of the sewing apparatus.

So I lifted the foot and yanked my finger back out.
Only to discover that there is a piece of needle STICKING OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF MY FINGER.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right- the needle broke off. Went right through my nail and fucking BROKE OFF.

At that point it didn't really hurt yet, but I knew the pain would kick in within about 30 seconds, so I scrambled upstairs to find some pliers to extract the fucker.

In case you were wondering, sewing needles are tapered, and the pointy end sticking out of my finger was a far smaller gauge than the upper piece still wedged inside of it.
So I had to yank it through.

I'll let your imagination fill in the blanks.

So I have a hole in my finger.

And, scene.